The Obnoxious Gentleman and the Impeccable Tourist
by Shantari
Summary: America thinks England can help him improve his image. England thinks his afternoon just got ruined. USxUK, eventually at any rate.


**Author's notes:** Initially written for the USUK lj-anniversary, and it's theme "Tourists", this has turned into a multi-part story. Do not at the present time know when I'll get part 2 out, or how many parts there will be. (Thinking two or three at the most, really.) Beta read by miss_duchess on livejournal.

Chapter 1

It was a perfect sunny afternoon, and England had decided to take his tea and embroidery outside in his garden to take full advantage of the fact. He seldom had such an opportunity to enjoy basking in the sun while he tread his needle. Yes, a perfect sunny afternoon... A little too perfect. In fact it was just that kind of perfectly sunny afternoon that he seemed to always acquire unwanted company from his fellow nations. Say what you wanted about the English rain, but at least then the chances of being pulled along on an American scheme, a French taunt or anything else headache inducing were minimal. Just in case this afternoon was doomed to spoiling, whether by unwanted company or the weather realizing it was too perfect to last, England decided that it was best to at least put away his embroidery. Just finish this last stitch...

Ding dong.

England hurriedly rummaged for a band aid, his stung finger in his mouth. He had known it was too perfect of a sunny afternoon. The doorbell was pressed in a repeated pattern while he put the band aid on, and he knew exactly who would be standing there when he finally opened the door.

"Englaaaaand!" America was smiling broadly and shouting for absolutely no reason. "Lets go away together!"

"Wh-what? Idiot! Don't just suddenly say such things!" The British man was looking flustered as he looked around outside, trying to assure himself that no one was within sight nor hearing.

"Hmm? What kind of weird things are you thinking now, England?" America just smiled. "I'm only talking about taking a vacation together."

"A vacation, I see." No, actually England didn't. Not at all. Why did America all of a sudden want to go on a vacation with him? "Why?"

"Ah?" America stared at England's hand. "What did you do there?" He suddenly grabbed a hold of it. "Burn yourself on one of your scones?"

"No!" England pulled out of the American's grip. "I pricked myself with a needle when you rang the doorbell."

"Hahaha, that's so like you, getting into weird accidents like that." The American would have probably made some actual joke, if he hadn't been met with a glare even he could easily read.

"Again, why do you suddenly want to go on a vacation? With me?"

"Ah, I don't know if you ever heard about this but... I got an image problem some years back. Apparently I was considered to be an obnoxious tourist by most of the other countries, so my bosses had me take a course in sensitivity training or something like that. But I don't know if my image has really improved that much. That's why I figured that maybe what I need is practical training, and also someone who can keep an eye on me and help me improve my behavior."

xxxxx

"But why do you want me to help you?" England eyed his former protégé suspiciously. If America knew...

"You're always saying that you are a gentleman, so maybe that's what I need to be to be a better tourist! A good gentleman is also a good guest, or so I think you used to tell me when I was a kid."

"Ah, yes, of course..." This was not good. England didn't want America to know, especially now that he had it confirmed that he really didn't know, that England, though an impeccable gentleman, wasn't... Generally liked as a tourist. Sure he didn't have the catastrophical reputation that America had managed to garner in the last couple of decades, but he was most definitively not looked upon fondly in certain countries. In any case, he had to dissuade America without revealing his secret.

"Well, I'm sorry but I just can't. I'm terribly busy, booked schedule and everything. Otherwise I would of course consider it my duty to keep you from making too much of a fool of yourself, being your former guardian and everything. There are those who still like to remind me that I was the one who taught you a great deal growing up."

"Ah, but I already talked with your bosses about getting you some free time. And they figure a vacation would do you some good anyway."

"Oh, that way, I see." Come up with something, come up with something! "Well, I have to feed the cat. I can't really take little Bessie with me, especially not when I am going anywhere with you, and she's much too young to take care of herself."

"Oh, that's okay. When I asked Canada to look in on Tony every now and then, I also took the opportunity to ask him to look after your cat. Bessie seems to like him more than me, so I figured it'd be okay."

"Ah, I see." Bloody hell, did the boy have an answer planned out for each and every possible protest? Was England really that predictable?

"I've already decided that we're going on a vacation together, so everything that could be in the way of that is already taken care of."

What?

"Ah," America began rummaging through his shoulder bag. "I also brought a bunch of brochures and stuff so we can decide together where we will go. I figured we'd decide that now, and then I can start reserving hotel rooms and plane tickets and those things tomorrow. With everything planned in advance, we won't end up with something that won't suit both of us, and you'll know exactly what to pack for Friday."

"I see."

xxxxx

England was not someone who liked to admit defeat, even when it was only mentally to himself. Though, while it still stung his pride, he found it very much subdued by the infectious enthusiasm America had as he spread the brochures and maps all over England's coffee table.

"I got a bit bored on the flight here, so I already made a list of some possible targets. France is of course not on the list," America grinned.

"He damn well better not be!"

"Besides your inability to hang out civilly with one another, France is the one that considers me the worst kind of tourist. We need to start out at some place where I can take baby steps, right?"

"That sounds reasonable. So what we're looking for is some place where your reputation isn't completely horrid."

"It should also be sunny and warm and be a fun place to visit!"

"Don't put unnecessary limitations! Let me see that list!"

"Of course, here you are," America said as he handed over the short list which England grabbed impatiently and began to skim.

_1. Japan. __It might be difficult to tell if there's success at that place or not. Can't really tell what that guy is thinking._

_2. Italy. He'd be too honest! But his food is good, and it's warm and fun there._

_3. Greece. He seems relaxed, so it'd be easy maybe?_

"This list is really short..." England gave America a pitiful look. If America really had this kind of problem getting along with others...

"Mmm, yeah I had to strike out a lot of places on my original list. Either I realized I wasn't liked there, or as in most cases I thought they didn't seem like good places to tourist."

"Stop being so picky! Really now, you're doing this to improve your relations with others, aren't you?"

"Yeah well, I also want to have a good vacation with you." America scratched his cheek thoughtfully. "The places on this list are okay with me, and I figured that you'd like them the most because they have a lot of culturally interesting sights and stuff. So you get to choose whichever you want."

"I see." England tried not to swallow his spit too noticeably. A good vacation with him? There were times when England honestly worried if America wasn't so much incapable of reading the atmosphere as much as being completely unreadable himself. He looked over the list once more. Couldn't go with Greece, bad reputation. Japan would be really nice, and probably a lot easier for himself. Italy would be a lot quicker to make it difficult for the both of them, and America would realize at once that England wasn't the impeccable gentleman he thought him to be. So not Italy then... Wait a minute! This was the first time in a very very very long time that America had come to England for help, for instruction even. And one of the most important things England had taught him had been that the only way to really learn anything was to challenge yourself. He looked up at America from the list, and even with the much larger frame and the pair of spectacles proudly pinching his nose, those shining eyes and that eager smile made it far too easy to see his much younger self sitting there in his place.

"Italy then," England said finally.


End file.
